Full of it? Full of Him.

I was reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan last evening when I came across the following phrase concerning the indwelling of God's Spirit.

"You've probably heard this truth a hundred times, but have you marveled at it? Would you be willing to take thirty seconds right now just to dwell on the fact that God is in you?...This is the Spirit of God choosing you and me to be His dwelling place. That means that as I write, the Spirit of the living God is inside me...As you face tragedy and pain. As you buy groceries. As you walk your dog. As you make decisions. As you live your life, the Holy Spirit is dwelling in you."

I sat still marveling at this question being asked. "God is in me. God is in me. God is in me. God dwells in me!", I thought. What greater Christmas gift could I receive than God taking up residence? My mind, my heart, every part of my being seemed to be crying out, singing even. That does sound weird even as I write this. Every part, though, was singing. My heart, my mind, my bones, my flesh, my eyes, my head moved to the rhythms of this heavenly dance, the hair on my body stood as if it was reaching out for the unseen glory as I was overcome by being not just known by Him, but a temple in which He has taken residence permanently. Forever. I can't stop thinking about this. I've always known this, but it suddenly became so real in that instance. Since then I've searched His word over to hear and know even more clearly what it means to be a dwelling place of God the creator, the healer, the Saviour, the almighty when I bumped into Romans 8:9-11.

9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. 10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

As Christians, we are different because "the Spirit of God dwells in you." Look right in the middle of verse 9 to see this: "However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you." This is the very presence of the Spirit of God dwelling in us.

The word "dwell" is important. It´s more than "be there," like you might be in a restaurant or in a train station or in a car or in a store. "Dwell" (oikeo) comes from the word "house" (oikos). And so the implication is that the Spirit of God is not present in you as if you were a stopover. He has taken up residence here. This is where He lives. This is His home. You are His home. The implication is nearness and familiarity and influence. If someone makes your house their home, they will be near you a lot. They will become familiar with you and you with them. And they will have an influence on you and the way you live. Know this about yourselves, Christ-followers: the Spirit of God dwells, makes his home, in you. If you are not becoming very familiar with Him, and seeking Him, and communing with Him, and being influenced by Him, something is profoundly wrong. Do not ignore Him or grieve Him or resist Him.

What greater Christmas gift could the risen Christ give you than the Spirit of God to dwell in you?

Delight+Pleasure=Sabbath

Deuteronomy 5:12

12"Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you."

As we heard about Sabbath, about keeping it holy, about how our eternal, untiring, Heavenly Father commands us to take a "delicious" day of remembering Him, His redemption, and His desire to renew us, I couldn't keep from seeking out what else the scriptures speak to us about Sabbath. As I searched, I came across this passage in Isaiah 58 that spoke so clearly the message of Sabbath our Saviour desires for us:

13"If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath,

from doing your pleasure on my holy day,

and call the Sabbath a delight

and the holy day of the LORD honorable;

if you honor it, not going your own ways,

or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly;

14then you shall take delight in the LORD,

and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;

I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,

for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

How can you "delight" in the Sabbath day and not seek your "pleasure" on it? In one sense you can't. It's like saying, "Delight yourself in this pizza but don't seek your pleasure in it." Or, "Delight yourself in this sport but don't seek your pleasure in it." But my question is why does God contrast "seeking your pleasure" and "delighting in the Sabbath"? Could it be because "your pleasure" is not the Sabbath. When the Sabbath is not "your pleasure" then there is a huge contrast between seeking your pleasure and delighting in the Sabbath. But if we are the Christ followers who love the holiness of God then there will be no contrast between seeking our pleasure and delighting in God's holy day. We will most undoubtedly find our deepest pleasure in seeing His glory and singing His praises because He is our greatest, most treasured delight.

But this day is to not be a burden! Why? Because it is a day in which we delight ourselves in the Lord in ways we can't on the other busy days. It is a day that we remember how our Saviour broke the chains of slavery to sin with a "mighty hand" and, at the same time, drew us to the greatest good in all the universe, namely Jesus, with an "outstretched arm". He is the greatest delight our souls could ever taste. He is "delicious" and the Sabbath is designed to provide a weekly meal for our shriveling souls.

**Disclaimer: The word "delicious" was used in Sundays sermon by Bill Goans. Gotta give credit where it is due!-)

Bread and Wine...Juice! I mean juice!

It's been a while, but I feel very led to typity type a bit. I don't know why it's been too long and I wish I was a little more consistent like my friend Marshall but, alas, my laziness has been tough to fight off. This day, oh this day, I have risen in victory over my flesh. So here we go...

It was that feeling. I couldn't explain it. I couldn't put my finger on it's birth place. Why, oh why, was I feeling a sense of unrest when I just spent the better part of a week worshipping in all gladness and joy of my Saviour. The songs still ring fresh in my head. The words, the Word, shared was still there for feasting and I was eating and drinking my fill. Oh, the taste was a delight and I wanted every mouthful to last just so I could savour the sweet taste of my glorious God. Then I couldn't figure it out.

I tried to nap late Sunday. Key word "tried". I tossed and turned with an anxiety I could not explain. I lay on my bed for at least an hour before I stood, put on a coat (I was already dressed in other clothing), grabbed my keys and drove out of the driveway to wherever He led me. I just drove and talked. Drove and questioned. Drove and listened. You see, the previous Sunday we partook of the Lord's Supper or the Eucharist or Communion, whatever you wish to call the eating of bread and drinking of wine (juice in my case) in remembrance of Christ's giving of Himself. I sat there in my seat holding my blood of Christ cup and wafer of Christ bread with a thought going through my head..."can I faithfully eat and drink of His suffering when there is someone I know and care for that I've wronged and not pursued forgiveness between? How could I?" I hesitated with cup and bread in hand. It was that moment that sat so heavily on my heart a week later. Why now? I thought the healing had begun. What was really filling me with this unfounded anxiety? I pondered...work? nope. middle school retreat? nope. leaders? nope...what could it be? I called all my mentors and prayer partners to no avail until I happened upon the least likely, for me at least, person to give a strapping christian boy (haha) advice...my stepmom, Pamela. And she spoke wisely and to my heart when I'd actually called her to get my dad. Our conversation consisted of the following:

As a follower of Christ we're told, and rightly so, that Christ should always be the central, the focal, the pedestal, the one we seek first in all things. I sooooo badly desire this! I despise when I put other desires before Him. Even good, God drenched desires like marriage or ministry. When one of these good desires pops up and I turn my head from Christ and begin to desire that good thing more than my good Saviour, I've let idolatry slip in through the back door. Where I've taken a good thing, like marriage, made it my god thing which makes it a bad thing. There is only one God, Christ Jesus, and He alone is to be worshiped. But those good things sneak in and I'm like the sea gulls from Nemo...mine, mine, mine...and I try to dive in and grab this good tasting thing, all the while Christ, the best tasting of all, sits on the shore tending a fire, roasting the good things that they'd taste even better because He makes all things better when He is central. So my focus is Christ, but these good things dive in and I turn my head from Christ and I don't want that. I want Christ. Give me Christ. I want so badly to submit all these to Christ and I confess I don't always know how, but I desire this. Praise be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord! He'd take a sinner like me and mature me into a follower of Him. I want to partake in Him whether it's bread or waiting or blood or struggles, I want to partake of Him.

Surprised by joy

Last Tuesday was a crazy day. Here's how things went down in specific order:

8:30am

Arrived at work parking my car in the shade 'cause the sun is hot and so am I (hot natured I mean, though I like to think just "hot" anyway).

9:00am

After making coffee in the office...I make it because the brown water from the automatic machine at church frightens me. I get nauseous even thinking about it (pause for gag reflex to pass)...we're back. I made the coffee for Bill's, our teaching pastor, welcome back breakfast which was awesome. Dianne's banana bread was straight bumpin'.

9:45am-12:45pm

We wrapped up shop on the breakfast. Coffee was gone which means it was delicious plus everyone who partook seemed much more joy-filled. From here Davy and I got to the daily grind until rumblings in our bellies called out for nourishment and here's where the day turns into weirdness beyond my comprehension.

12:50pm

Davy and I walk to the parking lot. Realizing he has left his keys in the office, Davy asks if I can drive and being the friendly patron I said, "No." Just kidding, I just turned and headed for my vehicle with my red headed friend in tow. As we approached my vehicle, Davy says aloud, "Dude, you were broken into." To which I respond, "What?" Then my eyes see the shards of glass all over the passenger seat and emptiness where a window should be. I'm shocked and befuddled. "Really", I think, "At a church that does so much for our community?" Feelings of anger and disrespect quickly subsided as a peace seems to envelope me. I fought it for a short while, but gave into something, or Someone, greater than me. Yes I lost an iPod, but I still have my music. Yes they stole a friends gps device, but I know how to use mapquest or an atlas. Then my phone rang and I had to soak in something much more important than loss of personal property that I managed to do well without in previous days.

1:00pm

My younger brother, Andrew, my best friend and obviously family, calls to let me know some important information..."Hey brother, calling to let you know I'm leaving today to head to England for three years so I'll see ya in a few years or so." What!?! I'm shocked trying to wrap my mind around the words just spoken in the midst of small chaos that had recently occurred. I was at a loss of words..."So? I mean. What? When? How can I? Already?"

You see, I knew he and his lovely wife were leaving, but right then? I mean, thanks for the heads up. When are you flying out? Oh, your headed to the airport right now? Okay. I can't seem to form whole or coherent sentences as my mind has been blown on back to back occasions. Remember when I mentioned previously a peace that seemed to envelope me? Well, say bye bye to that...for a little while. My mind is reeling from being broken into, my brother leaving, and work related drama that I can't seem to shake and I haven't even thought about p90x (extreme exercise program, look it up because it's awesome) with Bill and Marshman. It seems I feel broken into in a few different ways by someone that hates my Saviour. Who will do anything to steal His peace from me the moment I turn and let down my guard.

This is where everything seems to collide. I have quickly forgotten the peace that came in the moment of broken glass that should have, should have, been held onto throughout the rest of the day and the chaos it brings. That peace needed to steer through the days worries set aside unknowingly for a self-imposed peace that led to repentance. Why would I seek peace in my own efforts when it came freely after a broken world stole? I don't know. But now I do. It took about a week. But now I know. The broken glass has been restored, the work related drama has been healed so unbelievably well...I wish I could share it's content but, alas, what good would that do? But I can share it's outcome: A passion for Christ and His glory to be known by all parties that met together. Hugs were shared, tears of joy shed, and unity restored for a white hot desire for His kingdom to come! I love the people I work with. I love them even more for their love for our Saviour...

Now comes the last piece, my brothers departure and arrival to his new home. I awoke this morning to a delightful message from my brother. I laughed heartily. I prayed for he and his wife's time in Nottingham. I pondered much upon the ways in which God acts. I received a peace that seemed to have departed on that day of brokenness. I was surprised by a surpassing joy that only Christ can give. A joy for suffering, a joy for restoration, a joy for His ever-growing kingdom, a joy for His passion for His glory, a joy that a sovereign all-knowing God would use sinners like my brother and his wife, co-laborers at work, and myself to do His work. Joy in the chaos can come. God speaking through the toughness of life as this world shouts out lies that seem to be a fix but ultimately leads to joylessness can occur. I pray that His voice of joy would break into our brokenness to carry us through suffering, to restore our lives, and give a growing passion for His Name. Let the river flow.

Stirred Up, Evoked, An Echo...Not Worth Comparing

I was reading a friends blog today...it truly struck me to the depths of my soul. I mean a deep reminder of my own battle with loss. My own battle with pain. The reminder of a hurt that comes like a bandage being ripped from a wound. You try and remove it quickly but the sting comes, the wound is uncovered, and it begins to weep again. As I read about her long trial of caring for her father, though it does not seem to have been much of a trial now, the very core of my being was stirred. Images of times past with my own mother...sick even with medicine coursing through her veins, struggling for air which was so easy for me to breathe, long beautiful brown hair replaced by a bareness that reflected in her eyes. For she was laid bare, a fallen world was seeping the life from her. Oh the pain was all too real. The struggle, a mighty one, not meant to be borne by someone so loving, so caring, so in communion with the One who could remove it in a flash. But a struggle she was willing to bear. Her words of impenetrable faith in her loving Saviour, "Give me the cup of my suffering for Your Namesake, for Your glory", a constant echo in my mind. She was so strong, and always seemed to know how the story would end...an ending not fit for those around her at the time.

As she passed and the days, weeks, months, year afterwards too had passed, reminders of her fervent Christ-exalting spirit and warrior-like prayer life became so much more evident. No longer were the sounds of the hospital machines and gasps for air echoing in my mind, being replaced by visions of mom smiling, content, at peace, healed. I was then reminded of what Paul said in Romans 8, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed to us...[we] groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." To her, cancer was not suffering. It was a means for greater glory to the One who redeemed every part of her. She groaned, hungered eagerly for a salvation that leads to a greater glory to be revealed to her...and to us. Oh how the pain and weariness paled in comparison to the surpassing greatness of her sovereign God. For her, to be with Christ was greater, was gain.

As I read the blog, I was hit by a deluge of emotions. I even find it difficult to write this. It's been five years and, yes, I still miss my mom. I never want that to go away. But as each day passes I desire to be as homesick for my place with Christ as mom did. This is not our home, and she knew. We are foreigners in a foreign land called to live a foreign way of life to His glory 'til He beckons us home or comes to meet us.

Thank you, Jamie, for your beautiful words. May they beckon us to grasp tightly to a Saviour who will never leave us, who does carry us, who has saved us, and who cries with us. Jesus wept when the one whom He loved had passed, but He brought him up to life as He will do for all those whom He loves. I truly believe Jesus wept that day my mom died, and I believe He also was there arms wide to usher her into His kingdom.

Two Sides of the Same Gospel Coin

"In order to receive the redemptive benefits of the gospel, we must repent from trusting in false gods and exercise faith in the one true God. We must fight. Repentance and faith are the two sides to the coin of the gospel. They are not a one-time act to get us into heaven, but an entire way of life to maintain Christian joy. Repentance is not a work we tack onto our faith; it is an expression of faith."--Jonathan Dodson in Fight Clubs

Isn't it funny when you're reading a snippet of writing and your mind will be set off by one phrase that causes you to drop everything sending you on a memory quest seeking the occurrence of a single phrase? Such an occurrence happened to me this day.....I was reading through the Resurgence blog this morning when I came across the phrase "way of life". Upon reading I immediately began to gallivant through my memories of reformed theology classes and readings when it hit me...Martin Luther said something very similar in his 95 theses when he courageously and, I believe, very gospel driven stated, "When our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, said "Repent", He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance." Oh, how He wants us to turn our affections and passion away from the false gods in our lives! He is supremely passionate for His glory, for His name to be known, for our very souls to be satisfied in the riches of His all-surpassing glory. May we let loose of the false gods and false promises this world throws into our lives and take hold of the one true sovereign God with every ounce of our being, with all our affections and actions. May we not be known for simply knowing the way with lip service that has no external differentiation with the world, but being those that follow the Way. It's more than just believing, it's treasuring Christ above all else because He is our greatest treasure. To quote Jonathan Dodd again, "Repentance and faith form the bridge that leads us away from union with false gods and promises and into the promise of joyful union with the one true God. This is a gospel that motivates, that animates the life of a disciple of Jesus!" Amen.

I've screwed up, what now?

"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication." Micah 7:8-9

How do we respond when we've ignored the anguish of our sinfulness or can't seem to get past sin that hinders us? We know what we've done is wrong, but we can't seem to shake it. It's that feeling that says, "I've fallen and the enemy is scoffing over me in my defeat! My enemy is joyfully laughing over my ruin!" We feel downcast and defeated as if there is no way out...have you ever felt this way over your sin? I have, and I still do at times. Like satan is pointing his finger at me laughing because I call myself a follower of Christ when, in reality, I've followed his lies. He pokes me and prods me and belittles me. He casts his darkness over me trying to blind me of my hope and salvation. How do we have victory over this, how should we respond?

Read the passage again because this is what victory looks like after failure. Here is how we respond to our enemy:

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy.” You make merry over my failure? You think you will draw me into your deception? Think again.

“When I fall, I shall rise.” Yes, I have fallen. And I hate what I have done. I grieve at the dishonor I have brought on my king. But hear this, O my enemy, I will rise. I will rise.

“When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.” Yes, I am sitting in darkness. I feel miserable. I feel guilty. I am guilty. But that is not all that is true about me and my God. The same God who makes my darkness is a sustaining light to me in this very darkness and He will not forsake me.

“I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me.” O yes, my enemy, this much truth you say, I have sinned. I am bearing the indignation of the Lord. But that is where your truth stops and His begins: He will plead my cause. You say he is against me and that I have no future with him because of my failure. That is a lie. And you are the prince of lies. My God, whose Son’s life is my righteousness and whose Son’s death is my punishment, will execute judgment for me. For me! And not against me.

“He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication.” This pain that I now feel because of my failure, I will bear as long as God sees fit. And this I know for sure, God will bring me out to the light, and I will look upon his righteousness, my Lord and my God.

Wednesday Check-In

Break my heart for what breaks Yours...--"Hosanna" by Hillsong

I love that line from Hosanna. It asks the same question from the message on Sunday...Are we so grieved (godly grief) by our sin and do we turn from it. Does the sin we fall into break our hearts like it breaks the heart of our loving Father? Do we feel a grief over what we've done against God, and God alone? Yes, others may have been hurt in the process. Yes, we may have backpedaled in our attempt to reach others for Christ. Yes, we feel low as low can go. That all may happen, but do we see this as being done against a sovereign, all-powerful, merciful, loving Father and do we want that relationship to be restored?

Look at what Proverbs 1:23, "If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you." Or again in Jeremiah 15:19, "Therefore thus says the Lord: 'If you repent, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me."

When we grieve over our sin because it breaks our heart, we grieve in a way that images that of God our Father. His heart is broken because He's saved us from that sin and He does not want us to be deceived by the power of sin. He cherishes you with a passion so ferocious that He was willing to die for you displaying the extent of His love. Sin leads to death, but the forgiveness of God in Christ's death covers a multitude of sins leading to life. Amen.

I'm not an alien!?!

Now there's this guy named Saul who went around persecuting Christians not long after the death of Jesus. The church is afraid of this man because if he and his homies found you, you could be taken from your home, thrown in prison, and maybe even killed. This same guy had an encounter with Jesus that changed his life forever. No longer was he killing believers, but now he was making believers. He became Paul and travelled around teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to whomever he met. He is the greatest missionary of our faith who also wrote 75% of what we have in the New Testament. He was a tremendous man of God who walked in an immense power that most of us only dream of. Instead of praying for people to be healed of sickness, he just told them to stop being sick. How many of us can do that? People would steal this mans handkerchief or apron to rub on their bodies because it would actually heal them. Again, how many of us get our clothing stolen for that reason? He talked with Jesus face to face and had converts wherever he went. We can all agree this man was a man of God at a varsity level. Which is why I think this is such good news:

"For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me...Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord."--Romans 7:18b-20, 24-25a

I love this text! It's such a great text. Let me tell you why this is so great. Because a powerful, profound man of God said this. And if he says this, then I don't feel like such an alien anymore. I can say what Paul is saying here. "Why don't I do the fulness of what I know is right? And why, when I know what is right, do I still do what I know is wrong?" Like I'm the only one who struggles with sin, that I'm alone in this grieving over my sin...I'm not. Do we struggle, do we grieve like Paul over our sin?

Against You

“Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.” —Psalm 51:4

Remember that David tried to cover his sin by bringing her husband Uriah home from battle so Uriah could lie with her and think it was his baby. Uriah was too noble to go in to his wife while his comrades were in battle. So David arranged to have him killed so that he could quickly marry Bathsheba and cover the sin that way.

Then Nathan says, “You are the man!” and asks, “Why have you despised the word of the Lord?” David breaks and confesses, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Psalm 51 describes what David felt and thought as he laid hold of God’s mercy. Some might say that Christians after the death of Jesus do not pray and confess this way. They should not think and feel this way. I don’t think that’s right. Jesus, once for all, by his life and death, purchased our forgiveness and provided our righteousness. We can add nothing to the purchase or what He’s provided. We share in the forgiveness and the righteousness by faith alone. Psalm 51 is the way God’s people should think and feel about the horrors of their own sin. This is a psalm about how we should feel crushed for our sin well.

We should respond as David did and turn to God, pray for cleansing, confess the seriousness of our sin, and plead to a mighty, sovereign, righteous God for renewal. We have sinned against our Saviour, and in the process may have hurt or destroyed His children and even those who have yet to believe. We should feel crushed for our sin, and we should grieve. But with a godly grief that rests on the need of a Saviour who is desiring to pour out His mercy. So grieve like David, and rest in the same comfort that he knew could only be found in a glorious sovereign God.