I've screwed up, what now?

"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication." Micah 7:8-9

How do we respond when we've ignored the anguish of our sinfulness or can't seem to get past sin that hinders us? We know what we've done is wrong, but we can't seem to shake it. It's that feeling that says, "I've fallen and the enemy is scoffing over me in my defeat! My enemy is joyfully laughing over my ruin!" We feel downcast and defeated as if there is no way out...have you ever felt this way over your sin? I have, and I still do at times. Like satan is pointing his finger at me laughing because I call myself a follower of Christ when, in reality, I've followed his lies. He pokes me and prods me and belittles me. He casts his darkness over me trying to blind me of my hope and salvation. How do we have victory over this, how should we respond?

Read the passage again because this is what victory looks like after failure. Here is how we respond to our enemy:

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy.” You make merry over my failure? You think you will draw me into your deception? Think again.

“When I fall, I shall rise.” Yes, I have fallen. And I hate what I have done. I grieve at the dishonor I have brought on my king. But hear this, O my enemy, I will rise. I will rise.

“When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.” Yes, I am sitting in darkness. I feel miserable. I feel guilty. I am guilty. But that is not all that is true about me and my God. The same God who makes my darkness is a sustaining light to me in this very darkness and He will not forsake me.

“I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me.” O yes, my enemy, this much truth you say, I have sinned. I am bearing the indignation of the Lord. But that is where your truth stops and His begins: He will plead my cause. You say he is against me and that I have no future with him because of my failure. That is a lie. And you are the prince of lies. My God, whose Son’s life is my righteousness and whose Son’s death is my punishment, will execute judgment for me. For me! And not against me.

“He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication.” This pain that I now feel because of my failure, I will bear as long as God sees fit. And this I know for sure, God will bring me out to the light, and I will look upon his righteousness, my Lord and my God.

Wednesday Check-In

Break my heart for what breaks Yours...--"Hosanna" by Hillsong

I love that line from Hosanna. It asks the same question from the message on Sunday...Are we so grieved (godly grief) by our sin and do we turn from it. Does the sin we fall into break our hearts like it breaks the heart of our loving Father? Do we feel a grief over what we've done against God, and God alone? Yes, others may have been hurt in the process. Yes, we may have backpedaled in our attempt to reach others for Christ. Yes, we feel low as low can go. That all may happen, but do we see this as being done against a sovereign, all-powerful, merciful, loving Father and do we want that relationship to be restored?

Look at what Proverbs 1:23, "If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you." Or again in Jeremiah 15:19, "Therefore thus says the Lord: 'If you repent, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me."

When we grieve over our sin because it breaks our heart, we grieve in a way that images that of God our Father. His heart is broken because He's saved us from that sin and He does not want us to be deceived by the power of sin. He cherishes you with a passion so ferocious that He was willing to die for you displaying the extent of His love. Sin leads to death, but the forgiveness of God in Christ's death covers a multitude of sins leading to life. Amen.

I'm not an alien!?!

Now there's this guy named Saul who went around persecuting Christians not long after the death of Jesus. The church is afraid of this man because if he and his homies found you, you could be taken from your home, thrown in prison, and maybe even killed. This same guy had an encounter with Jesus that changed his life forever. No longer was he killing believers, but now he was making believers. He became Paul and travelled around teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to whomever he met. He is the greatest missionary of our faith who also wrote 75% of what we have in the New Testament. He was a tremendous man of God who walked in an immense power that most of us only dream of. Instead of praying for people to be healed of sickness, he just told them to stop being sick. How many of us can do that? People would steal this mans handkerchief or apron to rub on their bodies because it would actually heal them. Again, how many of us get our clothing stolen for that reason? He talked with Jesus face to face and had converts wherever he went. We can all agree this man was a man of God at a varsity level. Which is why I think this is such good news:

"For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me...Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord."--Romans 7:18b-20, 24-25a

I love this text! It's such a great text. Let me tell you why this is so great. Because a powerful, profound man of God said this. And if he says this, then I don't feel like such an alien anymore. I can say what Paul is saying here. "Why don't I do the fulness of what I know is right? And why, when I know what is right, do I still do what I know is wrong?" Like I'm the only one who struggles with sin, that I'm alone in this grieving over my sin...I'm not. Do we struggle, do we grieve like Paul over our sin?

Against You

“Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.” —Psalm 51:4

Remember that David tried to cover his sin by bringing her husband Uriah home from battle so Uriah could lie with her and think it was his baby. Uriah was too noble to go in to his wife while his comrades were in battle. So David arranged to have him killed so that he could quickly marry Bathsheba and cover the sin that way.

Then Nathan says, “You are the man!” and asks, “Why have you despised the word of the Lord?” David breaks and confesses, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Psalm 51 describes what David felt and thought as he laid hold of God’s mercy. Some might say that Christians after the death of Jesus do not pray and confess this way. They should not think and feel this way. I don’t think that’s right. Jesus, once for all, by his life and death, purchased our forgiveness and provided our righteousness. We can add nothing to the purchase or what He’s provided. We share in the forgiveness and the righteousness by faith alone. Psalm 51 is the way God’s people should think and feel about the horrors of their own sin. This is a psalm about how we should feel crushed for our sin well.

We should respond as David did and turn to God, pray for cleansing, confess the seriousness of our sin, and plead to a mighty, sovereign, righteous God for renewal. We have sinned against our Saviour, and in the process may have hurt or destroyed His children and even those who have yet to believe. We should feel crushed for our sin, and we should grieve. But with a godly grief that rests on the need of a Saviour who is desiring to pour out His mercy. So grieve like David, and rest in the same comfort that he knew could only be found in a glorious sovereign God.